Customer Service Bedtime Tale

So yeah, My dad’s gearing up to go home and its time to update him on “The Cell Phone Situation.” They were on a prepay phone (& number) before and my mom would keep calling me to reload her minutes on that line. At 35c a minute! Well after doing that twice I said screw it (not like I have a ton of extra cash laying around to waste on overpriced cell minutes) and went out and bought her a new phone, on a new number, that’s tied in with Becca’s phone’s plan. Shared minutes stuff. The first phone I got her was a nice Motorola (full retail price) that I liked, but the buttons turned out to be too small when she got home. At that time I thought I would see what games she could get on it and I ended up buying Uno and Might & Magic for her. But yeah, she didn’t like the small buttons. So we took it back and she picked out a Razr like Becca’s. Had to pay full retail for that too because Verizon designed their pricing schemes in the retail stores that way, or the people in the Saginaw Verizon just are milking this whole city. I don’t get why changing my wife’s plan to shared minutes and adding a line to that and writing in blood that I will be with them for 2 years with 2 lines doesn’t qualify for a discount on retail pricing. I could see if I was asking for a free phone with a 1year or no year contract, but come on.

Of course, I called to get Uno and Might and Magic credited back to the account so I can redownload them for her on the new phone, and apparently that takes a act from congress to happen. So that’s $25 wasted…Can’t transfer, cant do anything. Unlimited play is per phone, not Unlimited for all your future phones. Safe to say I won’t be doing any more Get It Now ever again. I hope Verizon Corporate sees that. EVER AGAIN.

So she’s got this new phone, she’s been text messaging me all the time like a 14 year old schoolgirl, quite amazing really. Didn’t think she’d put up with keypad entry… And now this week comes, and news that my dad is getting out is causing her (I think) to worry about “the story of the prepay phone.” Because really, at least from the impression I’ve always gotten, he doesn’t like what appears to be charity from me and might get freaky.

Well, so she texts me that she needs the old prepay phone reloaded again and she’ll pay me back. I freak out, I’m so angry I don’t even want to talk about this and have Becca call her, also I was in the middle of something I couldn’t just drop. So she called my mom and my mom says it’s so my dad can have a phone to use at home.

So despite my mother’s recommendation of keeping the prepay phone …Yesterday, I went out and got him a “Free for $45” Nokia pic phone. Because really, I’m not doing the prepay crap ever again, it’s too expensive for anyone. And yes, he will need a phone for when he’s at home and she’s at work with hers….so he’s got this one now.

What’s sadly, retardedly, not funny at all is Verizon. I went in to see what I thought was “my guy” at the retail outlet who signed my mom’s phone up and told me to come back to him with anything else… First off, they have a new Take-A-Number system when you walk in, except without the privacy. I walk in and I’m asked to type my name and my mobile number into a touch screen computer (with bad sensitivity so you have to kind of push hard for each character.) A guy came in after me and tried to get out of having to do that too, he just wanted an accessory, lol.

So back to “My Guy”: Well he first of all certainly didn’t remember me , I thought it was amazing I remembered him because “All those customer service people look alike” (I even called him by his name, I have his card still.)…. and secondly, He didn’t do ANYTHING for me in regards to a free phone, offering me retail even though this IS A NEW LINE WHICH IS SUBJECT FOR THE 2 YEAR DISCOUNT PRICING (after that first round of retail pricing I did some reading up, they are NOT supposed to be charging us like that when going on a shared minutes plan…. At least from what Online Sales told me, but no one can credit me now, the bastards). Cheapest thing they had by the time I talked to someone else that knew what I was talking about, was $80. I asked about the 6 phones I see for free online and why can’t they honor that pricing…well…they are stupid and have different pricing I guess is the short answer to that. They told me to try the Verizon Mall Kiosk nearby and that they have free phones. So I go there and those capitalist pig wannabe’s have COMPLETELY DIFFERENT PRICING THAN ONLINE AND AT THE RETAIL STORE. I walk up and I see a phone with 2 year activation for free and I say “Do you have any phones I can get for free here? J“ The guy says “Yes! J”. I mention the family share plan and the stooge goes oh wait, no, that’ll be $69 to add it to an existing plan (1 year contract price? Why did he choose that?) THAT’S INSANE THAT THESE RETAIL PEOPLE DON’T EVEN KNOW THEIR OWN CORPORATE RULES OR HAVE THEIR OWN RULES. I left him saying “You do realize when I compare you to the online site; this and your retail store are really stupidly setup. Driving out here was such a waste of time.”

So I get back to work with a fresh perspective of “PUT ALL VERIZON EMPLOYEES IN SAGINAW ON THE UNEMPLOYMENT LINE FOR THEIR LOW VOLUME SALES AND ORDER THRU THE PHONE INSTEAD” I called the Customer Service line, who said “oh that’s for a New Line? You have to talk to New Activations people”. I transfer and talk to New Activations…welp, “it’s to add to an existing plan you should have called Customer Service” (WTH?!!!?) So they transferred me back. Now I’m talking to finally someone that wants to take my money. I tell her I’m ready to order from her any of those 6 free phones she has in stock. Well she only sees 3 on her Verizon website screen, while I see 6. So instead of getting the one I thought was best out of those 6 I got the Free Nokia picture phone which shouldn’t be too bad. Of course, there’s a 9.99 shipping charge and like $35 activation fee and then $9.99 a more a month for the line, but hey, ITS FREE!!?!?!?!

So like, if you work at Verizon, ask them if they can hear me now.